So it has been a while since I have posted a blog! part of that is becuase I have been rather sick and the other part is that I just haven’t known what to say……

It seems that sometimes our fallen world doesn’t make sence! Not just for me but for so many that are hurting right now! I think of the McRae family! Not fair! My friend Gary who is still batteling with a disabilitating condition. Not Fair! In our heads we know that God is control – but it is times like this that our mere words are put to the test and they are molded like clay into faith monuments!

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy. It is a disease of the heart that was probably caused by a virus. I will most likely get better. I have been doing everything possible to to try to get my heart healthy. My heart was not as bad as some and the doctors think that I will make a full recovery – but along with the diabetes this has been a scary time of life for me.  Right now we are in the waiting stage. Waiting to get lab results back, waiting to see how my heart responds, and waiting to feel better. It is sort of surprising how little the doctors can do for your heart at this point. It is really up to my body. I wanted to personally thank all of you that have been praying for me and my recovery. Thank you to those who have brought food and have done little things to help out. It has really meant the world to Amy and I. We still need your prayer. I need your prayer as I jump back into work! hahaha

So I was hunting a few months back with my buddy Brad (Brad Remfrey is such an amazing guy! He is one of the best and most loyal friends in the world!) and we were up on top of a mountain looking out at the valley below, when he said somehting to me that I will never forget! He said, I wonder what the poor people are doing right now?” At first it didn’t register with me and then it hit me that he wasn’t talking about the type of riches that we commonly associate with wealth. He was talking about the riches that we experience through God’s creation and the priceless moment that we were sharing as friends. It really impacted me and has stuck with me when I start to get frustrated and my current financial situation or with the fact that I can’t buy something that I really want. I am by no means finacially poor, but I do not have a lot of money. But money is not what is going to last. In that moment up on top of that mountain I was rich. Rich with friendship. Rich with God’s creation and rich with an understanding of what really matters in life. I love it because when you really break it down, we are all rich with blessings – we just sometimes lack the perspective to see them!

Brad told me after he has said it that his dad used to say that phrase when they were hunting together. Brad’s dad has past away, but he has left an amazing legacy with that statement! Thanks Brad for sharing that with me – I am grounded by that statement often and I want to pass that on to my kids as well!

“I wonder what the poor people are doing?”

So I had a really good day today! It was fairly uneventful, but I am starting to feel better. I have also started to work through some stuff emotionally and mentally the past few days. I think I just need to be honest with myself that I am sort of worn out! This past couple of years has taken it’s toll on me. I have gone through 2 surgeries and 4 cortisone shots, physical therapy (multiple times), medications up the wazoo – all while trying to be a great husband and father and manage to wear about 3-4 different hats at work. This is not to mention the thousands of dollars that we have had to spend on my medical stuff! Money we don’t really have. I know that the money part really stresses Amy out and rightfully so and in part stresses me out! I think I want so badly to be able to shrug all of this off and power through, but this has been taxing! I don’t know if I have shared with very many people what I have gone through this past couple of years. I think because I have a hard time sharing my difficulties with others. I don’t want to burden them and I don’t want to seem like a downer, but with the diabetes hitting me I think I just needed to be honest with myself that I am a little overwhelmed.

The other thing is that sometimes I feel like there is an expecatation of me to perform – at work and at home. What I mean by this is that I feel like a lot of people are depending on me to lead and to some extent I think that is true. But I also think that I put some of that expectation on myself. I guess I say this mostly to be honest with myself, but also to let you in on the things that I am processing right now. The past few days I have sort of let go of some of this stuff. I feel very mortal! I know that I just need to accept the fact that I really need to take care of myself so that I can be a leader at home and work. I have started seeing a theapist to help me process this stuff and I think that is really good! I went yesterday and I already feel like my spirits are better! I feel like I am understanding life at a different level.

I feel like I am understanding how amazing life is! Just the gift that we have from God to interact with Him and with others! I understand how fragile that gift is! I am also learning how to love myself a little more. How not to be so hard on myself and to just be ok if I don’t  meet the expectations of everyone all the time. As long as I’m doing my very best – that is what God wants from me. I am also figuring out how to submit to God through all circumstances and that my situations don’t need to define me. The truth is that I want God to define me, every part of me! I haven’t always wanted that!

I have a good friend named Chris, who went to bed one night in jr high and woke up with a disabilitating condition. It has physically changed him in very dramatic ways. It has effected his whole body! I had the opportunity to sit with him a few weeks ago over breakfast and I asked him how he copes with his condition on a daily basis and his response has changed my life! He responded by saying, ” I have grown to the point where I feel lucky to have my disability, because I feel like God is constantly teaching me. He never let’s me go. Everyday is a new challenge and He is able to carry me through it.” Chris’s statement has been my comfort this past week as my life has altered with diabetes. Even though I don’t have the challenges he has, I still feel like every-time I need to take insulin or test my blood or choose healthy foods, it’s a reminder that God is refining me; that he is not done with me yet! Diabetes might be the best thing that has ever happened to me!

First off – let me just express my overwhelming thanks to all of you that have offered your encouragement , prayers and support! It really does mean so much to Amy and I. This has been a little overwhelming for us – or maybe just me, but your support has really meant a lot to me!

This last week has been really tough  as I have been trying to get my blood sugar in a normal range. Yesterday Pastor Randy Deal – who is also a pharmacist that specializes in Diabetes, called my doctor for me and got me on insulin. I took one shot and my sugar levels are now normal. It is really good that I am in the normal range, but now my body is reacting a little and feels like my blood sugar is low – like I need to eat, but am not hungry. I guess this is normal and will go away in a day or two. It’s just my body adjusting to what is normal. I am really worn out though. I slept 11 hour last night on the couch! I just couldn’t wake up to go to bed. I feel like I could sleep all day, but I know that I need to get moving! I have come to grips with this new adventure and am embracing it as best I know how. The nice thing is that I am eating really healthy! I will keep you posted! Thanks again for your support!

So yesterday I was diagnosed with diabetes. I am going to be writing about this process because I feel like it is good to be open journal about my experience with this disease and I also want to open this door of my life to all of you that may read. I will be posting often what my journey looks like, but as for now here is the story.

Over the past couple of months my body has been doing some interesting things. I have lost about 20 lbs, I get leg and hand cramps, I have been craving sugar (I have been drinking a lot of soda), I have to go to the bathroom alot, my skin was super dry and I got a rash on my body.  I knew something wasn’t right but I thought that it might just be because I had gone through 4 cortisone shots on my back and has stopped taking the pain medication. Amy kept pointing out to me that something might be wrong and I started to do some research based on the symptoms that I was experiencing. So after we got back from California, where we were at Brian and Promises Wedding (Amazing by the way!) I decided to go into the doctor to get some blood work done. I was thinking that I might of had a hyperactive thyroid or something. So I went in and they took my blood samples and said that they would call me in a few days.

Yesterday I got a call from the doctor who wanted me to come in immediately to go over the results. I went in and my doctor told me that I have extremely high glucose levels in my blood and that I was most likely a diabetic. We did a blood test on the tester that she gave me and it did not register because it was too high. (It was over 500 – Normal glucose is around 100) She then tested me on her machine and it tested off the chart again. She then got a worried look on her face and recommended that I go to the emergency room to get the levels down. I walked out to my car just feeling really scared – I called Amy and could barely hold back the emotions enough to let her know that I was most likely diabetic and that I needed to go to the emergency room. My sister and brother in law watched our kids as we went to the hospital. (They are the best and I am so appreciative of them!)

So Amy and I went to the emergency room  were they hooked me up to an IV and got fluids into my body. They found that I am most likely a type 2 although we are still doing tests to determine for sure. I was in the emergency room for about 4 hours and they released me with my blood sugar level at 313. (Still not great) They prescribed me some medication and sent me home. Today I went back to the doctor and they took more blood to do more tests and they prescribed me a new medication that is better and I am still trying to get my glucose levels down to a normal level. Before I ate dinner tonight it was at 348. It is probably going to take a few days to get it under control.

On a personal level this has been kind of tough on me. I feel like my identity has changed. The past couple of years have been so tough with the two surgeries and 4 cortisone shots on my back. I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Today Amy and I had some great talks – I think I am dealing with my self esteem  and confidence as a husband and father, feeling somewhat inadequate. I know that it is not true, it’s just where I’m at. I also know that when your blood sugar levels are off you can feel a little down, so I’m not going to listen to my emotions a whole lot. I know that God is in control of my life and I know that he is faithful. I also know that he is not going to give me more than I can handle, but he is defiantly testing that theory! (lol) I know that I am going to be ok – I’m just a little scared and anxious about the future.

The cool thing is that I need to eat healthy. I really do eat healthy already, I just have a few things that I need to change about my diet. Amy and I are really excited about this. We made a menu for the week and went to Sprouts today and got all of the right foods to eat. Our kids are going to be eating really good foods and I am excited for a healthy lifestyle. As I write this my kids are on my lap and have no idea that anything is different with me. They have no idea that their dad has a disease called diabetes. My family and friends are going to love me no matter what and ultimately I am going to be much more plugged into my heath on a daily basis. Maybe what seems like bad thing is really just a big blessing!

Here are my 10 most favorite things to do!

1. Hang out with Amy (not just saying this for sex – I really mean it!)

2. Play with my Kids – Cana and Jackson

3. Hunt/Fish

4. Hang out in my Garage

5. Watch TV Shows

6. Paint

7. Surf

8. Leadership/Speaking

9. Mountain Bike

10. Read/Study

So I spent quite a bit of time making sure this list was in correct order. I would love to see what your top 10 favorite things to do are!

So every Summer the same thing happens to me and for some reason it catches me off guard. I am always plagued by extremely dry feet. Dry feet to the point that my heels crack and it becomes really painful. This year my hands got extremely dry as well. My wife Amy informed me last year that my feet are drying out because of my sandals. I wear sandals almost everyday. I have one pair that I particularly love. They are Rainbows that are Rubber with the thick soles and the Nylon straps that are sort of wide. They have been my favorite slippers ever! I have owned many pairs of Rainbows and other brands of sandals and none compare with the ones that I am wearing right now. They are so comfortable and they really have become a part of me! So anyways ….. I needed some help with the dryness!

Last year Amy busted out some stuff that is utterly Amazing! (Utterly is funny – because this product is used for chapped cow utters!) It is called Bag Balm! Bag Balm works so well! The problem is that it is very strong and sort of guey! You have to wear socks after you put it on because if you don’t it gets on everything. It also has a pretty strong odor. Not bad – just strong. I think it has some oils in it and petroleum and other ingredients that fix cracked and dry skin! If you have dry feet – check out Bag Balm. I’m sure you can find it at a health food store like Sprouts or you may even be able to buy it at a supermarket.

For my dried hands I had to find different product, because you don’t want to walk around with Bag Balm on your hands! So yesterday I went to Sephora (I think that is how you spell it – It is the cosmetic store in the San Tan Mall.) and found some amazing stuff! Amy and I went into Sephora to buy Amy some perfume for mothers day and I wanted to see if they had some lotion. What I found was a whole section dedicated to products for men! Pretty cool if you ask me! Anyway I found this stuff called Industrial Strength Hand Healer by Jack Black. (Not the actor) I tried this stuff and it works amazing! I only have to put it on 2-3 times a day and it takes away all the dryness!

You may not deal with dry hands or feet and you may be saying, “Chip is such a girl!” But until you have dried hands and feet and know what an inconvenience it can be, you really have no idea. Hopefully this post will be of some use to someone out there! I don’t want anyone to be trapped and insecure by there dry hands or feet! Our hand and feet are meant to be moist! Happy Healing to you all!

I have been in a creative slump for the past month and a half or so! I need some inspiration or something! I am starting to feel the desire to paint again – I’m just not sure what I want to paint. I think I want to try something new and maybe try to do more than one painting with a similar theme. The other option is to Paint a really big Canvas. I have always wanted to make my own custom canvas. That could be fun! I just need some inspiration on what I should do! Any ideas are welcome!

Here are my top 20 favorite TV Shows of all time. Please let me know if any of your favorites showed up on the list!

1. The West Wing

2. The Wire

3. The Biggest Looser

4. Greys Anatomy

5. The Shield

6. Friends

7. Southland (New)

8. Prison Break

9. Battlestar Galactica

10. The Unit

11. The Office

12. 30 Rock

13. Kings (New)

14. American Idle

15. 24

16. The Black Donnelly’s

17. The Sopranos

18. The Amazing Race

19. Parks and Recreation

20. Commander in Chief

These are the Shows that I have watched and loved over the years in numerical order based on how much I enjoyed them! If you want to create your top 10 or top 20 that would be great! I would love to see what your favorite tv shows are!

I have posted about a lot of things on my blog but never about someone or something as beautiful as my wife Amy. She is the most beautiful woman to me. I know a lot of husbands say that, but I am not sure if they totally mean it! I however do! She is just amazing to me. She is one of those people that I am constantly memorized by and here are the reasons why.

She is completely beautiful. She is beautiful from the inside out. She has an amazing heart and does not have a malicious bone in her body. She loves people and people love her. Not only is she an beautiful on the inside she is also the most gorgeous person on the outside. I think she is plain hot! She takes care of her body and God has blessed her with amazing features. I can’t stop looking at her! Each day I find her more attractive. I’m not trying to be cheesy – I think this is a gift from God. I hope that when I am 80 years old I still experience this phenomenon! Amy I think you are so beautiful and I wouldn’t change anything about you!

She is totally funny! Amy is constantly making me laugh. Every little thing is an opportunity for her to laugh! She looks for humor in every little moment in life and often finds them. She takes a normal day and turns it into something extraordinary. Our house is filled with laughter and joy because of her amazing personality and humor.

She is an amazing mom! She has patience and grace with our two little ones. She has a good balance dicipline and love. She cares for the growth our kids more than she does about being their friends, but still has the magnetic quality about her that draws our kids to her. They want to hang out with Mom because she is sooo cool. I would have to agree with them. When she is gone for the day and I am with the kids they ask for her constantly and when she comes home they run to her in excitement. She is totally organized as well. She has the day scheduled, the projects organized and the house on a routine maintance program! (hahaha) she is such a good mom!

She also owns her own personal training buisness. She is driven for success. She is for the most part a stay at home mom, but also has enhanced her life and her purpose with her training buisness. It isn’t a huge money maker, but that is not her objective for doing it. While the money helps, her purpose for training is that people can live a healthy lifestyle. I love this trait about Amy. She really cares for each of her clients. She pushes them physically but her goal is that they will gain a healthy lifestyle comlete with nutrition, life balance, physical strength and spiritual growth as well.

Amy has such a great personality! She is simple and complex! She is so positive and carefree. It is contagous when you are around her. She has a very distinctive way that she talks and I think it is pretty cute. It is sort of a sophisticated valley-girlesque style that I fell in love with from day one! Emotionaly she is sort of complicated. She is practical yet very emotional. It took me a couple of years to figure it out. Ussually when she is mad at me it means that her feelings are hurt or she is worried about me or our family. I love her complexity, it keeps me on my toes and brings color into our family!

She loves to have fun! She thrives on simple fun, like going on walks, planting a garden, working out, having a good conversation etc. She does not need expensive things. She doesn’t need to go shopping to feel good about herself. She is very confident in who she is and she just wants to hang out with me and our kids! I absolutly love this about her. She is simple. She likes to do the things that I like to do, but at the same time is very feminine! She is so sexy and athletic! In my opinion this is the best combo! I have so much fun with her!

Well all of this is to say that I think my wife is truly the best! She is such a blessing to me and I thank God everyday for blessing me with a wife that is out of this world cool!

Amy I love you and adore you! I am so glad that God made you exactly the way you are! He created a masterpiece with you! Thank you for making me want to be a better man every single day!