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The best thing that has ever happened to me!

So I had a really good day today! It was fairly uneventful, but I am starting to feel better. I have also started to work through some stuff emotionally and mentally the past few days. I think I just need to be honest with myself that I am sort of worn out! This past couple of years has taken it’s toll on me. I have gone through 2 surgeries and 4 cortisone shots, physical therapy (multiple times), medications up the wazoo – all while trying to be a great husband and father and manage to wear about 3-4 different hats at work. This is not to mention the thousands of dollars that we have had to spend on my medical stuff! Money we don’t really have. I know that the money part really stresses Amy out and rightfully so and in part stresses me out! I think I want so badly to be able to shrug all of this off and power through, but this has been taxing! I don’t know if I have shared with very many people what I have gone through this past couple of years. I think because I have a hard time sharing my difficulties with others. I don’t want to burden them and I don’t want to seem like a downer, but with the diabetes hitting me I think I just needed to be honest with myself that I am a little overwhelmed.

The other thing is that sometimes I feel like there is an expecatation of me to perform – at work and at home. What I mean by this is that I feel like a lot of people are depending on me to lead and to some extent I think that is true. But I also think that I put some of that expectation on myself. I guess I say this mostly to be honest with myself, but also to let you in on the things that I am processing right now. The past few days I have sort of let go of some of this stuff. I feel very mortal! I know that I just need to accept the fact that I really need to take care of myself so that I can be a leader at home and work. I have started seeing a theapist to help me process this stuff and I think that is really good! I went yesterday and I already feel like my spirits are better! I feel like I am understanding life at a different level.

I feel like I am understanding how amazing life is! Just the gift that we have from God to interact with Him and with others! I understand how fragile that gift is! I am also learning how to love myself a little more. How not to be so hard on myself and to just be ok if I don’t  meet the expectations of everyone all the time. As long as I’m doing my very best – that is what God wants from me. I am also figuring out how to submit to God through all circumstances and that my situations don’t need to define me. The truth is that I want God to define me, every part of me! I haven’t always wanted that!

I have a good friend named Chris, who went to bed one night in jr high and woke up with a disabilitating condition. It has physically changed him in very dramatic ways. It has effected his whole body! I had the opportunity to sit with him a few weeks ago over breakfast and I asked him how he copes with his condition on a daily basis and his response has changed my life! He responded by saying, ” I have grown to the point where I feel lucky to have my disability, because I feel like God is constantly teaching me. He never let’s me go. Everyday is a new challenge and He is able to carry me through it.” Chris’s statement has been my comfort this past week as my life has altered with diabetes. Even though I don’t have the challenges he has, I still feel like every-time I need to take insulin or test my blood or choose healthy foods, it’s a reminder that God is refining me; that he is not done with me yet! Diabetes might be the best thing that has ever happened to me!

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About chipneal

I am 31 years old, married to Amy and have three kids Cana and Jackson and Malina. I am an insurance producer with Gillespie Insurance Services in Redlands California. I enjoy the outdoors, mountain biking, Hikeing, Surfing and mostly spending time with my family. I am interested in life and what makes people tick.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “The best thing that has ever happened to me!

  1. Chip – great post. thanks again for being so real and transparent with all of this. your words are inspiring.

    Posted by Aaron | May 21, 2009, 5:00 am
    • Aaron – thank you so much for your encouraging words! I really appreciate you! I hope you and your fam are doing well! We need to talk again soon!

      Posted by chipneal | May 21, 2009, 5:55 pm
  2. Hi friend and brother….I appreciate the blog so we can keep up with you and what is going on. You know we are here….Toddly knows now too….praying, lovin’ and cheering you on buddy!

    Posted by Sonja | May 21, 2009, 11:37 pm

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